Breast Feeding in Public.... because I CAN!

The other day, I posted a comment on Facebook about being able to breast feed in public and not have a blanket covering me or the baby.  This particular subject is quite a sensitive issue but I feel as if I should address it now that I am on of those ladies.  You know.. the ones you see in public with a baby attached to her chest.  Yes.. that's me!  I honestly never thought I would do it but, after having given birth to a baby (and having a natural delivery) I feel as if it is my right to nurse in public!

At first I was very shy about doing it.  I even mentioned to Carlo that I would cover up anytime we had company over or if we were at someone's house.  It's how I grew up.  It's how everyone in the US does it.  But I'm in Europe now.  Things are just a bit different here.  It's so natural to see a mom nursing her baby at a cafe or while sitting on a bench in the middle of a Piazza.  So, when it was my turn to feed my baby, I had to do what was needed.  I had my parents with me and they kept covering me with a blanket the first time around.  I felt somewhat awkward but I didn't want feel exposed... but after that, they also realized that everything here is a bit more relaxed.  I would nurse wherever and whenever I needed to.

feeding VJ at the metro station

(ps.. my mom took this picture)

metro station 

sitting in Piazza San Carlo

(Carlo took this picture)

I'd like to point out that I try to cover myself as much as possible with my shirt.  It was a chilly day and VJ needed to be covered with a blanket to keep warm.  But this is what I meant when I said... "I'm glad to live in a country where I can breastfeed in public and I don't have to cover her/us with a blanket."  I don't think I'm exposing myself.... do you?

1st Mother's Day

So far, motherhood is exactly what I thought it would be.  Pure joy and a lot of crying.. from the baby.  We've been lucky enough to have a "brava bambina" who only cries when I have to wake her up to feed her and when she's extremely tired.  I know that will change soon but for now, I'm enjoying all of the quiet moments in our house.

Mother's Day was exactly that.... quiet times with the baby and pure joy.  My parents were here during that time and I was lucky enough to have Valentina blessed at church that day.  I had asked my dad to do her blessing and since he's NEVER done a blessing OR a baptism, I knew he might need some help.  I had asked the Elders in our ward to come over for dinner Saturday night and help my dad prepare for the next day.  We had a wonderful dinner prepared by me and my mom.. complete with homemade flour tortillas! (made by ME!!)

The Elders ate SO MUCH and I was grateful for that as well as their approach to our situation.  (situation = Carlo not being a member of the church and them NOT pushing anything on him!)

The next morning, we all got ready and I dressed Valentina in my white dressed that I wore when I was blessed.  My dad gave a beautiful blessing in Spanish so that most of the congregation could understand.  Everyone commented on how cute the baby look and how much they also enjoyed seeing Carlo and how supportive he was.  With all of the excitement and trying to not miss class, we didn't take many pictures but we did get a few.

my parents, Valentina & I with the Elders

Valentina is Daddy's little angel!

One thing I enjoyed is getting a box of gifts from the sisters at church.  Our Relief Society presidency is really good at remembering things and making everyone feel special.  One thing they do is give a box of goodies to the ladies in our ward when they have babies.  I loved that I feel so loved in RS and I'm a part of the 'Mom' Group!

toys, wipes, & bath items

and a few more clothes!

I tried to do a photo session with Valentina to try and get a picture of her wearing my dress.  I wanted to compare the two pictures.  I got some good ones and not so good one but I think this was one of my favorites...

she just looks to tiny here.

I have to say... my 1st Mother's Day was amazing!

Adventures in Health Care: The Hospital Stay

Being a first time mother has really been difficult.... because I haven't been able to blog!  I thought I'd have some time on my hands when the baby is sleeping but it turns out... that's not true.  I'm trying just to maintain the housework or take a shower while she sleeps... when she actually does sleep and not wake up crying because she doesn't want to be in her crib.

But now, she's asleep in my arms... at least for the next hour when she wakes up to eat .... AGAIN!

So, now that I have a few minutes to spare, let me tell you (FINALLY) about my hospital stay.  As I wrote in this post, the hospital I had V at was... different than what I'm used to back home.  I was a bit nervous about the situation but it turns out that it had it's good and bad parts.

SHARING A ROOM WITH 3 OTHER LADIES:

GOOD:  You get to meet other women who are going through the exact same thing as you.  All natural births make for great bonding moments when you are encouraging the "newcomer" in the room.  You get to discuss your birth stories as well as frustrations when it comes to breast feeding, pain from the delivery & the lack of private bathrooms.  It's also cool listening to the other moms talk to their babies in their own language.  I had quite the International room.  We were: 1 American, 1 Moroccan, 1 Italian & 1 Romanian.

BAD:  You are forced to make conversation with 3 other ladies.  Sometimes you may want to sleep or just sit in silence and marvel at your creation.  You also don't have a quiet one-on-one time with your baby since the other 3 babies in the room could be crying and/or the mom's are talking non-stop on their cell phones.

PUBLIC BATHROOMS & SHOWERS

GOOD:  ..................... still trying to think of something..................

BAD:  Having to go to the bathroom down the hall is NOT cool.  Having to leave your baby and ask your roommates to watch her while you hurry and go isn't easy.. Especially if you have to go "#2" and your constipated.  There's always a sense that your baby is screaming at the top of their lungs while you're away.  As for the shower.... it's not fun having to yell that the shower is being occupied because someone is trying to force their way in.. even when the door is locked!

VISITORS

GOOD:  It's always nice to have someone come visit you. Whether is my husband or MIL staying by my side during labor or our dear friends who came to visit V after she was born.  You also get to meet the other ladies' family members and become good friends with them.  Not to mention the other people on the floor.  You end up seeing them quite a few times so, it's natural to make friends with them as well.

BAD:  Being in labor and having some Moroccan people come and have a huge feast near your bed isn't my idea of a good time. As much as I appreciate them offering me some chicken with couscous, it's not what I want when I am in pain and having contractions every 4 minutes.

BREAST FEEDING

GOOD:  All the women in your room are doing it and some will even share in their frustrations, so it's only natural to feel comfortable knowing that you are doing something wonderful and bonding with your baby.

BAD:  Having to watch one of your roommates while she's in agony because her baby won't eat is really uncomfortable.  Especially when she's got warm compresses on her chest and is manually extracting milk to alleviate the pain.  Also breast feeding your baby during visiting hours is not cool.  I don't like those Moroccans feasting on their pastries while I'm in the bed feeding my baby.

4 DAY HOSPITAL STAY

GOOD:  You are required to stay 4 days to recover from your delivery.  I never thought I would actually need that much time but I was wrong.  I slept a lot which is what I needed the most.  By the time I left, I walked home from the hospital because I felt to so good and refreshed.

BAD:  By day 2- I was ready to go!  It's hard having your roommates go while you're still there for the required amount of time.

DOCTORS

GOOD:  They only come once a day to check your chart and ask you if you're ok.  The Physician's Assistants do all of the work.. even the delivery.  They're the ones that come in and check your stitches and chart your progress for the Doctor to sign off.  The Pediatrician actually does come and make rounds every day to check the babies.

BAD:  ...............  still thinking of something..................

Overall, I was pleased with my care at the hospital and best of all..... it was all under the Government Insurance... which means.. I don't have to pay for ANYTHING!!

2 week challenge

These last few weeks have been kinda crazy.. not because I have a newborn at home, but because my parents came to Italy the day after I got home from the hospital.  Therefore, I've been having to play hostess and adjusting to life as a new mom.  It's been difficult since I've had to take the baby out instead of staying home and taking it easy.  Although the last few days have been easier since I haven't left the house except to go to the pharmacy or doctor's office.  Right now, instead of being downtown with my parents and making sure they don't get lost, I am at home with a sleeping baby catching up on my blogging.

Actually, there's a good reason to that.  Yesterday, Valentina had her 2 week check up at the doctor's office.  She's healthy EXCEPT.... she weighs exactly the same as she did when we left the hospital.  I have no idea how that is possible... ok. maybe I do but still..... this girl EATS AND SLEEPS!... that's it.  I have to wake her up at night to feed her, otherwise, she'll sleep ALL NIGHT LONG.  One of the problems that we have is that when we're out and she's in her stroller, it really makes her tired and she will usually sleep the entire time.  She'll go 5-6 hours without waking up. I change her diaper, move her arms and legs, kiss her... do what I can to make her wake up and..... nothing.  Especially on Sundays.  She'll sleep through church even though I try to wake her up to eat.

As I told the doctor, she eats for 40 minutes every 4 hours.. but I guess that's not good enough.  So, now for the next 2 weeks, she has to eat every 3 hours.  So far, she's been falling asleep as she eats and has only been eating for 10-15 minutes.  It's going to be a bit of an adjustment but I think we can do it.  I think the distractions of guests has been hard on her.  Especially when they want to hold her all of the time and that alone makes her fall asleep.

Our next appointment is 2 weeks and they will weigh her again. Hopefully she'll make a big improvement.

THE BIRTH STORY

It's been 11 days that our little bundle of joy arrived and yet, if feels like she's been with us much longer than that.  As I type this, I look at her and can't help but think she's already growing so fast.... maybe because she eats A LOT.. she's filling out more.

So, at this time, I would like to recall the details of her delivery. 

It all started on Saturday, the 17th. I had started to get contractions that were starting to be more serious than the ones before... however.. that didn't stop me from making our awesome Shrimp fajitas! (it just took me longer to make them)  The contractions continued all night and into the next morning.  I had woken up at 7am to get ready for Church when I had another really strong contraction.  I decided to stay home and rest instead of being super uncomfortable at church.  Just my luck, I had no other contractions that day so, Carlo and I went for a walk downtown to try to get the baby to drop some.

On our way home, the contractions continued into the next morning.  Still nothing too serious and anything I can't handle so we didn't think much of them.  Early Tuesday morning, I woke up to find blood when I went to the bathroom.  I knew this was a sign that things were starting.  I got online to try to see if any of my friends who are Nurses were online and they weren't so, I sent a text to my sister and the conclusion we came with is that I was starting to dilate.  An hour after that, the contractions started and came every 15 minutes.  At this point they are strong and I can't sleep at all.  Finally at about 4am, I was able to fall asleep until 7am when I woke up to get ready for my hospital appointment.  Since the 20th was my due date and still no baby, I had to go to the hospital to do a Fetal Monitor exam.  They strap some monitors on my belly to check the baby's heartbeat, rhythm, & strength of contractions.  They also gave me a digital exam and a quick sonogram.  Everything was ok and I was not ready to deliver.  

After walking home from the appointment, Carlo went to work and I stayed home to try to rest.  I wasn't sure if it was the exam or just me thinking about the baby but my contractions started up again every 15 minutes.  I ended up falling asleep while laying on the futon watching TV.  Since the afternoon sun comes through our bedroom, I went to lay down on our bed hoping that the heat from the sun would help the muscle on my back while I slept.  Carlo came home and I continued to have contractions during the evening.(now every 10 minutes)  We watched a movie that night to keep occupied.  My best friend even called me that time and I answered somewhat out of breath.  I told her I was in the middle of a contraction AND watching a movie.  So, I updated her really quickly and ended the call.  

The evening went along the same at the first except my contractions were stronger and closer together.  I tried to get some sleep but it wasn't happening.  By 2:30 am the contractions were every 5 minutes and getting worse.  I decided to take a hot shower in hopes that it would relax me.  Afterwards, the contractions slowed back down to every 15 minutes... but then quickly sped back up.  By 5:00am they were back to being every 4 minutes.  I woke up Carlo and told him it was time.  I couldn't take it anymore and I didn't want to spend another sleepless night at home.

He quickly got dressed and by 5:15, we were in a taxi on our way to the hospital.  We checked in through the ER and made our way over to the OB department.  They did another exam and Fetal Monitor exam.  This time I was dilated to 2cm and my contractions were "mild", so again, it wasn't time BUT.. my blood pressure had dropped to 110/50.  So, they decided to keep me for observation since I was exhausted and hadn't slept.  By 9am, I was already in a gown and in a room with 3 other ladies.  I spent the entire day in bed, or walking the hallways passing time and breathing through each contraction as they came.  Carlo stayed with me the entire time and his mom even came by to check on me.  As the day went, I was being monitored with more exams.  I wasn't progressing fast enough but the contractions were getting stronger.

trying to smile between contractions

I honestly don't remember much but I know that after dinner, I had my 5th exam and I was finally starting to show some progress. I was at 4cm!  They wanted to take me to the Labor rooms and have me do my Fetal Monitor there.  So, Carlo and I went down and what seems like forever I was strapped to the machine.  It must have been somewhere about 9pm because I never went back to my room.  They continued to come in, check the baby's heart rate, look at my contraction strength and give me digital exams.

When I was finally at 5cm, my doctor (even though she wasn't an actual doctor- more like a Physician's Assistant) decided to help me out a bit by breaking my water.  She only punctured the sac and only a small amount was released.  (again, this is all natural)  Because the hospital does Natural Birth only, they do not give anything to help speed up the labor (such as giving Pitocin), therefore I just had to wait and hope that breaking my water would speed up my dilation.  They did, however, give me something to help regulate my contractions.  (which I would continue to have even after the delivery... to help my uterus contract slower after the birth)

The contractions were getting stronger every time and at this point I remember telling Carlo that I couldn't do it. I was crying, I was trying to breath, I was screaming and I was tired.  He kept encouraging me, telling me that I COULD do it and that I was already doing a great job and I had to keep going.  By the time I reached 7cm, my doctor decided to help me out by stretching my cervix.  So, with each contraction, she was trying to stretch and dilate my cervix.  It hurt like crazy... I had a hard time keeping my legs up and apart for her because my instinct was to tighten up and kick my legs down and close them together.  She kept telling me that she was trying to help me but I couldn't help myself.  I was in so much pain that I just kept tightening up instead of trying to relax.... but honestly.. how is someone supposed to "relax" when someone's got their hand up your "girlie parts"?

With each contraction, came more pain and more stretching until I had finally reached 9cm, the doctor asked me if I felt like I needed to push.  I said no, but then with the next contraction I was ready.  She told me to start pushing and within a few minutes, the baby had dropped and gotten into position and I was dilated to 10cm.  IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO HAVE THIS BABY!!

The doctor asked me if I thought I could walk to the delivery room.... uhh... NO! Of course not!... so, they brought and wheelchair and very quickly...... wheeled me to the delivery room and I finally made it onto the table.  I was exhausted, sweating, nauseated, hot, cold, and ready to push.  I looked around for Carlo when I saw him walking into the room all dressed up in his gear.. and with the camera ready!  He was told to stand by my head until it was time for the baby to come out.  He stayed by me and had a wet paper towel on my forehead and helped me with my breathing.  All I remember is pushing as hard as I could until I heard some talking.  Carlo quickly went behind the doctor and said.. "Baby... she has a lot of hair!"  That was all I needed to hear because after that, I was pushing like a mad woman.

All of a sudden, I felt her.... I felt her head starting to come out.  I felt her head coming through and I also could tell that I had torn. (actually, they cut me.. but I didn't feel any pain)  I heard Carlo saying that her head was almost out and to give a couple more pushes.  As soon as I felt her head come out, I didn't want to stop pushing.  I just kept pushing until they told me... "piano, piano" (slowly, slowly).... I just stopped completely and then.... it was done! I felt a slimey, gooey, and wiggly little person and then a huge relief!  I DID IT!  AFTER 20 HOURS OF LABOR........I HAD GIVEN BIRTH! I HAD A NATURAL CHILDBIRTH AND I WAS STILL ALIVE!!!

April 22, 2010 @ 1:15am (Italy time)  Valentina Jade Piacente was born!  

She weighed 3,4 kg (7.5 lbs) & was 51cm long (20 in.) 

(the ID tag on her bassinet)

The doctors asked if I wanted her on my stomach, and (without any care) I lifted up my nightgown and the baby was placed on me.  I immediately held her while she was still covered in goo!  They put some blankets on her and then I continued to hold her for a few minutes until they took her to get cleaned up.  Carlo followed and took pictures while they cleaned me and stitched me up.  It took about 45 minutes for them to finish and I was back in the "labor" room recovering with Carlo and Valentina.  Carlo and I were both exhausted but so happy that he sent 20 text messages!  I called my mom to tell her that the baby was here. (we didn't tell my family that I was in the hospital... just incase it was a false alarm)  We just sat and started at our little creation.  She even recognized Carlo's voice.  She tried to move her head to follow the sound of his voice.  It was so precious.

After a few hours, I was taken back to my room where the other mothers all wished me "Auguri".  I called my the rest of my family to tell them about the baby and by 4am.. I was sound asleep.  Since we don't have a car, Carlo slept in a chair in my room until 6am, then walked home to sleep.

I had a 4 day hospital stay (that I will post about later) and I'm glad that I stayed for all 4 days.  I really needed the rest and actually enjoyed having Hospital Roomies!  After everything was done, I was happy with my treatment at the hospital, and the way delivery went.  Now... it's picture time!!!

(daddy brought one of our many stuffed teddy bears for the baby)

(Nonna Adelasia- Carlo's mom- was our first visitor)

(i couldn't stop staring at her)

("proof" that our baby was born in Italy!)

**As I mentioned a few months ago, anything regarding the baby and our family will be posted on our family blog.... La Nostra Piccola Famiglia.